Babies are born with two fears. The fear of being dropped, and the fear of loud noises. They do not have any more fear of judgement. They will go straight over the balcony and down a flight of stairs.
They walk straight out of an open window. They put a hand in a dogs mouth and stick their fingers in a electric socket because they don’t know fear and judgement. And the reason I’m telling you that is because so many fears we have, are acquired.
So we are scared of being rejected, “I don’t like when people look at me.” Here is the thing, when you were born what was your first experience being looked at? The nurse, adults, mum, dad, grandparents looked at you counted your toes.
No baby goes like: “Don’t look at me! I am a bit fat. I am having a bad head or I put this fat legs.”
Babies love being looked even when their diaper full and their nose is running. They like attention.
So the fear of being judged is an acquired fear. It is a learned fear. We learn to fear. Because we were judged unkindly or unfavorably.
However, you can overcome that, by judging yourself really well. So we have a kind of what I call external fears. “What if I go out with this person and he dumps me?” What about to ask that person out? Uff !..and they do not wanna go out with you.
It’s easy in life to let the judgments of other people mold you into someone you’re not. To let the opinions of other people shape who you become.
I used to get looked at as a troublemaker because the way I dressed the fact that me and my friends used to hang out on a corner, the community judged me, the police judged me, teachers judge me always, judged our appearances.
As loads of you are today the important thing to remember is that’s not who you are. It’s so easy to start to become the person that they say you are you are who you are not.
Remember that if you’re a good person you can truly become whatever you want be whoever you want, do whatever you want to do with your life.
But be careful because, if you let the judgments of fear mold you into that person they say you are , you’ll wake up one day and realize you ain’t the person you want to be. You’re the person they want you to be.
Stay focused stay strong remember who you really are. It takes courage to be successful and go after what you want. It’s easy to follow the pack and be who others want you to be. It takes courage to stay true to who you are. It takes courage to stand your ground and say no.
No way will I become the person you think I am because I Know Who I am, I know what I’m capable of. I know what I’m made of, I know what’s possible for me and it ain’t that you say it’s what I say.
I know the person I’m going to become and that has nothing to do with you.
Follow your heart not their opinions of you because when it comes to your dreams and your ambitions, their opinion is none of your business.
WHY YOU SHOULDN’T LET FEAR CONTROL YOUR LIFE?
Fear controls and ruins ѕо mаnу реорlеѕ lіvеѕ. Sоmе of them dоn’t еvеn knоw it. Fear іѕ the most dominant terrible humаn еmоtіоn and іf permit run wild, can саuѕе a оnѕеt оf other еmоtіоnаl troubles such аѕ anxiety, dерrеѕѕіоn, ѕtrеѕѕ, anger, confusion, loneliness, and other bаd nеgаtіvе emotions.
The gооd nеwѕ is that fеаr іѕn’t the mоѕt dominant humаn emotion. In reality, аll оf the nеgаtіvе emotions can bе dоmіnаtеd bу роѕіtіvе оnеѕ ѕuсh аѕ love, pleasure, hарріnеѕѕ, and achievement.
Fіrѕt a little about the еmоtіоn. Thе dеfіnіtіоn fоr fеаr іѕ ” tо bе аfrаіd оf.” Fеаr is a frоm a grееk wоrd φόβος,phobos which mеаnѕ “fear” or “morbid fear” accelerated by way of a perceived threat.
It іѕ additionally a bаѕіс survival іnѕtіnсt іѕ rеѕроnѕе tо раіn оr thereat оf danger . Almost always fеаr rеlаtеѕ tо future events оr аn instant rеасtіоn tо something presently occurring. This effective emotion саn hаvе mоrе than just a mental еffесt fеаr is сараblе of producing bodily ѕуmрtоmѕ ѕuсh аѕ a panic attack.
But you know we have a fear of falling. We go to the edge of a building look down and the stomach plummet. We go to speak on stage and our fingers feel kind of tingling because we decided to go with this excitement. Rather than run so nervous and so we have inner nervousness about doing things.
We have fears of dogs and cats and bees and lifts but these are all learned fears. For every person who fears cats someone else loves them. It is fine. That cat is going to scratch you or that bee is going to sting you or you are going to fall off the tree and kill yourself or you might drown in the water.
I knew someone who never learns to swim and on holiday he drowned. And he wanted to make these kids safe and he actually terrified them because he filled them up with fear.
Overcome fear of judgement with worst possible outcome.
A plane is gonna crash I’m driving in the rain and I might get scared and die there is no point in those fears. When you focus on the worst possible outcome you actually feel as if you were in that worst possible outcome.
And the only way to overcome that fear is that instead of being focused in the worst possible outcome, just focus in the best possible outcome I am driving, It’s foggy, it’s dark it’s icy.
I might skid off the road and kill myself or I am driving very carefully, I am driving very slowly, I am driving very cautiously because I am going to be safe gonna get home that’s the difference. You just have to give yourself different beliefs.
The thing with fear always is that you have two choices rationalize why you feel so terrible or talk yourself out of it.
I was out on the beach with my daughter and there was a big dog and it was quite a scary dog and she didn’t like this dog and I said to her: Darling when you don’t like a dog you get very scared and the dog doesn’t like it either he gets scared.
So when you see a scary dog turn your back to it. Don’t look at it because when you look at it you are challenging it and that’s hard to do. To turn back on a dog is hard to do. But if you turn your back it is not a challenge and she understood that.
I am going to be very calm and that dog is gonna go on its way. It’s the same with everything in life to do with fear.
Rationalize why you feel so fearful or talk yourself about it. I will be fine, this is ok, everything is going to work out perfectly.
All of these fears might hold you back and they don’t have to. Because every fear you go through teaches you something. You see! If you go to a fun-fair and go to those loop rides you can scream in terror or you can scream in excitement.
And the fact that we put ourselves through these ride things is that at some level we quite like fear. It challenges us to do more, it challenges us to grow more. So, don’t fear your fear. Remember, only fear to fear is fear itself.