The world breaks everyone and afterward, many are stronger in the broken places. But my question is why isn’t everyone? To me, when it comes down to the strategies that you use there isn’t anything objectively good or bad. There isn’t anything that happens to you that can’t be overcome. There isn’t anything that could happen to you that you can’t find a reason to overcome, you can’t find a way to put those pieces back together and that becomes your job. You might ask “how do I motivate myself for happiness?” in these situations.
It becomes literally up to you whether you’re going to sit and wallow or stand up and walk. There’s no way to take anything back that has already happened. But how you respond, what you bring to that table, whether you meet fire with fire. Or whether you meet that adversity with falling apart becoming weaker in the areas that broke or you bind them and mend them until it becomes like a weld that literally makes you stronger is a choice.
It’s a choice only you get to make. As Stephen Hawking said, “when you complain nobody wants to help you.” There are many things in your life you do have every reason to complain about.
The Choice Is Yours
You have every reason to be upset by the things that have happened to you. The most sinister thing about excuses is, they’re valid. There are a million reasons why you should be able to give up. there are a million reasons why you shouldn’t need to try that thing that broke you.
You should be allowed to just sit on the ground and here’s the thing that’s your right you have every reason to do it and maybe people won’t even think less of you but here’s the truth why they become weaker or stronger in the places that broke.
That’s a choice of how you react moving forward. The great news is the best thing that you could do to become stronger is to love yourself.
As Kamal Ravikant said “Loving yourself is a practice.” People think that it’s something that’s gonna feel right or it’s gonna feel natural. That you’re just gonna turn inward and there it is the spark of love and joy for yourself inside yourself. But the truth is that’s just not the human experience. That’s not the way that it works.
There’s gonna be a voice inside your head and it’s going to blame you. It will always say that it’s your fault and no matter how many times people on the outside tell you that that is not true. This thing happened to you, that it isn’t you, it doesn’t define you.
There will be a voice that’s going to tell you that it does and that’s where you have to fall back on process. That’s where you have to realize that you literally have to practice loving yourself. It’s okay that no matter what happened there is absolutely nothing that invalidates that you’re worthy of your own love.
Avoid People Who Don’t Love Themselves
You’ve got to practice it, you’ve got to be willing to do it, you’ve got to be willing to put in the reps. And you’ve got to know that it’s not gonna feel right but you’ve got to know on the other side of that is a vision of your life. A vision where you actually do love yourself because you took the time to say it.
You took the time to practice it, took the time to sit there and feel stupid and say that you love yourself. Sometimes just putting in the work is what you need to do to get strong. Put in the work the fact that you’re still alive. You’re still on this earth even though it’s been challenging and rough. Sometimes you get discouraged and uninspired to keep going but God has a plan.
You will grow through what you go through. Everything that you’re going through at some point it makes no sense to you. But at some point God is gonna reveal to you why all of these issues, challenges and problems continue to show up.
Learn From Everything You’ve Been Through
What you were supposed to learn from it. You go to sleep at night doesn’t mean you’re resting because you close your eyes at night. You are in sleep physically doesn’t mean that you’re actually resting. The reason that you don’t rest is that while you’re awake everything in everybody that’s in and around your life is so full of issues, problems, insecurities, dysfunction, and negativity. Your mind is in your spirit.
There’s issues and problems, arguments, yelling, screaming, dysfunction all of this shit is going on all day. So, when you go to sleep at night you’re not resting. A lot of people would say I love myself. Do you really love yourself? Are the things that you’re doing and the people that you’re hanging out with reflect a person that loves themselves? If you love yourself why would you hang around with those type of people. You know what they’re saying about you behind your back.
They’re jealous and envious of who you are and the things that you got going on in your life, in your career. You know that they don’t like you and they made it clear. They’ve sent you every sign imaginable that they could possibly send you. But you’re so desperate to have people around you and in your life you continue to go back.
You always continue to show up to everything they invite you to knowing what they’re saying about you. I’m not preaching separatism but I want a bunch of people to just be alone at home doing nothing with no friends, no family and nothing to do.
I’m saying that at this point you are old enough and mature enough to understand the difference between good people and bad people. When you’re hanging out with negative dark and dysfunctional people. You cannot expect yourself to go to sleep at night and rest. You cannot expect yourself to feel good about your day when you’re including negative and dysfunctional people in your day.
So what you grew up with them, so what they’re childhood friends, so what they’re family we have a responsibility to walk in the direction of peace. I want to laugh, I want to smile, I want to enjoy myself. I actually want to feel good about the people that are around me. You have that as a choice.
Start Living For Yourself
You actually don’t wake up in the morning and negativity, dysfunction, problems and issues just randomly pop up. These are the people that you have decided to include in your life. So the outcome of your day, your hour, your minutes, your week, your month in your year is always draining always dysfunctional.
These are the type of people you’ve decided to include in your day to day life. You can’t say that you love yourself when you continue to invite and include these people in your life. You’re threatened, they’re insecure, they have a problem with you and you don’t even have a problem with them.
They try and make you feel bad about being so blessed, they laugh about it. But they’re throwing subliminal and very direct messages at you they’re jealous. They’re threatened by the idea that you’re coming up your career and your life is advancing. Some people are sent in your life for a reason.
Others are there, for a season. It’s very important that you recognize when people’s seasons are over. Is the season over or have you decided because you’re desperate. You just need validation, you need all of this.
You’ve decided to drag these random people into the new season of your life. You have a boat and your boat is at its capacity and for your boat to not sink and go underwater. That boat could be your career, that could be your life, that can be here your personal life or your relationships.
In a relationship do you feel mentally, spiritually and emotionally stimulated or are you just holding on to it because you got this concept of loyalty. I’ve learned that loyalty has an expiration date. Loyalty isn’t an open-ended thing that just goes on forever. Technically some people just don’t really make sense for your life and the new season. You must realize that you must improve yourself
Stop Playing The Victim
The mind and the space that you’re in I want you to stop playing the victim. You are not the victim. You decided that those are your friends, that those are the people that you want to spend time with. This is what you wanted to do. Just because you get invited to places doesn’t mean you have to show up especially.
You should know what your experience is going to be like with these people. No one wants to be alone but why spend the rest of your life being miserable, frustrated and insecure. You have a responsibility to feel, feeling good isn’t just an opportunity feeling good is a responsibility that we all have for ourselves.
I don’t need a million people around me. If I don’t like you I don’t give a damn about you. I don’t care what you say about me. We have control of our every minute, every hour stop running around being on the receiving end of whatever people want to dump on. You showed up you accept that invite.
You invited these people to your house. You’re in a relationship with that man or you’re in a relationship with that woman, that’s you. So how do you feel at the end of your night it’s always gonna be based on the people that you decided to include in your day.
You got 24 hours in a day. When you go to sleep at night how are you gonna feel about your day all depends on who you decide to include in your day. Stop running around acting as if you don’t have a choice. You do have a choice. Start to control your fear of being alone
You love rumors, issues, problems, people calling you with their problems, you love it. That’s why at the end of every night you are drained because you have submerged yourself. Stop playing the victim, stop running around acting as if you have nothing to do with the people, things, and situations in your life.
Take The Right Decision
I’m tired of these grown-ass men and grown-ass women running around acting as if they don’t have a choice. You have a choice. You seek trouble and you decide to walk in that direction and what the fuck do you expect the outcome to be. You’re hanging out with crazy people do you expect the outcome of your day to be regular.
Try and walk in that opposite direction where you love yourself enough. Walk in the direction of peace, love, spiritual folks that are always evolving and trying to better themselves. How to take better steps and better directions to do better.
They want better for their careers and their life. They have talents. Those people that you’re around right now is not going to help further your career. You know that it’s been revealed to you a long time ago. But just because you don’t want to be alone you must rather hang out with a bunch of people that ain’t gonna do shit for you.
In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king. But in the land of the blind, you have people that have eyesight but they choose to not use them. Most of the people out here are blind they don’t see what’s right in front of them. So, they choose to just disown it.
The question for you is “do you want better for yourself? Don’t claim to love yourself and you’re waking up every day and deciding to include these people. That is not moving like a man or a woman who truly loves themselves when you love yourself you want better for yourself.
Also learn the ultimate secret to self motivation